the omniscience of teachers

I happened to be in the room during music class today, and the music teacher was giving a lesson on memorizing the lines and spaces on a staff. My kids are capable of memorizing them, but they do not yet understand mnemonic devices. Unfortunately, the music teacher far overestimated their capabilities. The conversation went something like this:

Music Teacher: I have a great way to memorize the lines on the staff! It goes like this: Elvis's Guitar Broke Down Friday.

 Students: Who was Elvis?

MT: He was a famous singer.

S: What happened to his guitar?

MT: It just broke down. Maybe it lost a string.

S: What did he do then?

MT: I'm sure he fixed it.

S (in great awe):  How do you know so much?

MT: Well, I just learned it...(then, realizing what had happened)...It didn't actually happen. His guitar didn't actually break down.

S: Oh. Did something else happen to him?

MT: No. Anyway, let's get back.....

Good thing she didn't tell them that Elvis was dead! That would have really raised some questions! I love that line, though: How do you know so much?

oh, the stereotypes!

I've been stereotyped many a time because I teach little kiddos. Most stereotypes include me as a ditsy, annoyingly crafty female who constantly talks in a sing-song voice and doesn't have the brains to get a real job.

And I've talked with many people who clearly have no experience with children. Most conversations go like this: "Oh, I love kids! I bet you just love going to work!" Me: Pause. Or like this: "Kids are so cute! That would be such a fun and easy job!" Me: "No. It's not." Then I try to do damage control.

However, I think I've bested even my worst tonight. I had a conversation with an acquaintance tonight. Part of it went something like this:

Anonymous acquaintance: So you work at that ....Day Care...Day School....place?
Me: Day School. Yep. It's a private school.
AA: Did you finish college? Have you been to college?
Me: (incredulous). Yes. I went to college. And I graduated.
AA: So is this an internship for you; are you planning on doing something else?
Me: No. This is my job.
AA: So you plan on doing this for a while?
Me: Well, for the foreseeable future.
AA: And you like it? (imagine incredible disdain in AA's voice)
Me: Well, it's a challenge. And I like being challenged. And I like doing something different each day. But it's hard for me to work at a private school, teaching privileged children, when there are so many children who do not have the same opportunities.
AA: Well, since I live next to the Day Care, I may or may not have been a privileged child.
Pause.
AA: But I was always nice.
Pause. (Me: ??? How do I respond to this?)
AA: Where did you go to college?
Me: I did my undergrad at BYU-Idaho. (I know, I probably shouldn't have said undergrad, but let's just say my pride was stinging a bit from the opening comments).
AA: Undergrad? So you've done grad work? (looks stunned).
Me: (working on humility after the undergrad comment, so deleting a bit of history) Yes, I did a master's at George Mason University in Virginia.
AA: (still looks blown away). Well. Good for you. (Turns back to the cake he was holding while I make my escape).
Friend who had overheard the conversation: "Not finished with school? How old does he think you are?"

I think the assumption that I must be about 20 and haven't finished school is the kindest of AA's assumptions! I was pretty annoyed for about ten minutes. And then I realized how ridiculous it was and laughed and laughed. Oh, how much he has to learn!

overheard on a Sunday

During a talk: "After a sleepless night, I woke up and went to school."

Later, during a lesson: "Sarah and Rebecca and Rachel (from the Old Testament) were righteous even when they were old and virgins."

Nothing like getting things straight at church!

Yesterday at recess:
Nia: Ms. Marshall, do you have a daughter?
Me: No, I don't have any children.
N: Why not?
M: Because I'm not married. I'll get married first and then I'll have children.
N: Well, are you close to being married?
M: Well, not really. I don't have a boyfriend right now (feeling slightly sensitive because of the uproarious laughter the last time this subject came up).
N: Well, will you get one?
M: Sure.
N: Hurry up so you can have a daughter!
M: Ok.

Today:
Nia: Do you have a boyfriend yet?
M: No, not yet.
N: I thought you said you were going to hurry!
M: Awkward pause.

insipirational thoughts

Every day on the door of the teacher's lounge, somebody posts a message. I don't know who does it. At first it was inspirational: "Those who teach change a life forever," that kind of thing. Since then, however, it's become more and more cynical: "Every morning is the dawn of a new error." I thought at first this one was a mistake: maybe "error" was supposed to be "era"? But the next day's confirmed the downward trend: "Those who are too openminded are letting their brains fall out." Welcome to P.G. County, where we mold the nation's young minds!

I'd like to put this up in my room. At least we might contain some of the germs. :)

What doesn't fit with the others?

"• A love and understanding of children and early childhood. • Knowledge, understanding, and successful exhibition of learning strategies to support all students in learning to use their minds well. • Knowledge, understanding, and successful demonstration of integrating curriculum and providing connectedness for learners. • Knowledge, understanding, and successful demonstration of providing a challenging learning experience in a heterogeneous setting. • Clear communication skills, both verbally and in written form. • Ability to work collaboratively as part of a grade level team. • Ability to create a positive, nurturing environment for the student. • Minimum three years of teaching experience. • Ability to lift 50 lbs and walk across campus on uneven terrain. EDUCATION AND/OR EXPERIENCE • Master's degree preferred. • Minimum 3 years classroom teaching experience and record of effective performance."

Ah, job applications (and descriptions). Here I thought I was just going to be teaching the kids. Am I going to be picking them up and carrying them across the campus? *Red flag!*