You want to date my brother?!

Needed background: Last summer I went out with a boy, T, and we didn't hit it off. He had not come prepared to pay for the meal, and I was not impressed. Although he was interested in a second date, I was not. We didn't go on a second date. T soon left to go back to school.

Fast-forward nearly a year to a picking-up-trash activity with my church group. I was working with T's sister, K, and a new boy, C.  I didn't know C, so I tried to get to know him as we picked up trash. K wandered over to where C and I were working, and so I began including her in the conversation, asking her about her life. I asked about her family, then remembered that I knew T, so I asked how he was doing. The conversation went something like this:
K: T's doing great. He came up a few weekends ago and took me out to lunch.
Me (absentmindedly, thinking of when I spent time with my brother): That's good. It's always nice to go out with your brother. (Then, realizing what I had said), I mean, I like to go out with my brother.
K (eagerly): You want to date my brother?! 'Cause I know you went out that one time and that he really liked you.
Me: No! I mean, it was fine to go out with him, but really...
K (interrupting): I could let him know, and I think you're about the nicest person ever and that you two would really go well together!
Me (frantically): No, no! The date was fine, but I really don't want to go out with him again! (then backtracking after seeing the stricken look on her face) I mean T is great, but I'm not really interested in him. What I meant was that it is always fun to go out with one's brother - you liked being with your brother just as I like being with my brother.
Long pause while C watches us intently, having listened to the whole conversation and forming all sorts of judgements about my articulateness under pressure, not to mention my social life.
K (sullenly): I think I misunderstood you.
Me: .....So, how are the rest of your siblings?

I doubt she thinks I'm the nicest person ever anymore. But at least we got any confusion cleared up!

the omniscience of teachers

I happened to be in the room during music class today, and the music teacher was giving a lesson on memorizing the lines and spaces on a staff. My kids are capable of memorizing them, but they do not yet understand mnemonic devices. Unfortunately, the music teacher far overestimated their capabilities. The conversation went something like this:

Music Teacher: I have a great way to memorize the lines on the staff! It goes like this: Elvis's Guitar Broke Down Friday.

 Students: Who was Elvis?

MT: He was a famous singer.

S: What happened to his guitar?

MT: It just broke down. Maybe it lost a string.

S: What did he do then?

MT: I'm sure he fixed it.

S (in great awe):  How do you know so much?

MT: Well, I just learned it...(then, realizing what had happened)...It didn't actually happen. His guitar didn't actually break down.

S: Oh. Did something else happen to him?

MT: No. Anyway, let's get back.....

Good thing she didn't tell them that Elvis was dead! That would have really raised some questions! I love that line, though: How do you know so much?

oh, the stereotypes!

I've been stereotyped many a time because I teach little kiddos. Most stereotypes include me as a ditsy, annoyingly crafty female who constantly talks in a sing-song voice and doesn't have the brains to get a real job.

And I've talked with many people who clearly have no experience with children. Most conversations go like this: "Oh, I love kids! I bet you just love going to work!" Me: Pause. Or like this: "Kids are so cute! That would be such a fun and easy job!" Me: "No. It's not." Then I try to do damage control.

However, I think I've bested even my worst tonight. I had a conversation with an acquaintance tonight. Part of it went something like this:

Anonymous acquaintance: So you work at that ....Day Care...Day School....place?
Me: Day School. Yep. It's a private school.
AA: Did you finish college? Have you been to college?
Me: (incredulous). Yes. I went to college. And I graduated.
AA: So is this an internship for you; are you planning on doing something else?
Me: No. This is my job.
AA: So you plan on doing this for a while?
Me: Well, for the foreseeable future.
AA: And you like it? (imagine incredible disdain in AA's voice)
Me: Well, it's a challenge. And I like being challenged. And I like doing something different each day. But it's hard for me to work at a private school, teaching privileged children, when there are so many children who do not have the same opportunities.
AA: Well, since I live next to the Day Care, I may or may not have been a privileged child.
Pause.
AA: But I was always nice.
Pause. (Me: ??? How do I respond to this?)
AA: Where did you go to college?
Me: I did my undergrad at BYU-Idaho. (I know, I probably shouldn't have said undergrad, but let's just say my pride was stinging a bit from the opening comments).
AA: Undergrad? So you've done grad work? (looks stunned).
Me: (working on humility after the undergrad comment, so deleting a bit of history) Yes, I did a master's at George Mason University in Virginia.
AA: (still looks blown away). Well. Good for you. (Turns back to the cake he was holding while I make my escape).
Friend who had overheard the conversation: "Not finished with school? How old does he think you are?"

I think the assumption that I must be about 20 and haven't finished school is the kindest of AA's assumptions! I was pretty annoyed for about ten minutes. And then I realized how ridiculous it was and laughed and laughed. Oh, how much he has to learn!

overheard on a Sunday

During a talk: "After a sleepless night, I woke up and went to school."

Later, during a lesson: "Sarah and Rebecca and Rachel (from the Old Testament) were righteous even when they were old and virgins."

Nothing like getting things straight at church!

Yesterday at recess:
Nia: Ms. Marshall, do you have a daughter?
Me: No, I don't have any children.
N: Why not?
M: Because I'm not married. I'll get married first and then I'll have children.
N: Well, are you close to being married?
M: Well, not really. I don't have a boyfriend right now (feeling slightly sensitive because of the uproarious laughter the last time this subject came up).
N: Well, will you get one?
M: Sure.
N: Hurry up so you can have a daughter!
M: Ok.

Today:
Nia: Do you have a boyfriend yet?
M: No, not yet.
N: I thought you said you were going to hurry!
M: Awkward pause.

insipirational thoughts

Every day on the door of the teacher's lounge, somebody posts a message. I don't know who does it. At first it was inspirational: "Those who teach change a life forever," that kind of thing. Since then, however, it's become more and more cynical: "Every morning is the dawn of a new error." I thought at first this one was a mistake: maybe "error" was supposed to be "era"? But the next day's confirmed the downward trend: "Those who are too openminded are letting their brains fall out." Welcome to P.G. County, where we mold the nation's young minds!

I'd like to put this up in my room. At least we might contain some of the germs. :)